Sunday, August 20, 2006
Ever wish your mom would go to hell?
Ever wish your mom dead ?
Ever felt like runing away from home?
I did.
I am so sick of all these shits. I quarrel and fight with my mom EVERY SINGLE shitty day of my life. (if u tell me u quarrel with your mom everyday, trust me.. Its nothing like mine) Everytime she sees me she starts yelling and screaming at me as if I've owed her in my previous life. She calls me a prostitute. ME? PROSTITUTE? She calls me names with such hurtful words.. bohsia.. What have I done wrong? She calls me a hopeless..Useless.. Good for nothing daughter. I'm fine with it. I get that most of the time. I'm immune to it anyway. She likes to talk about the past. She has been repeating and nagging, often reminding me for the mistake I once did 6 BLOODY FUCKING years ago. If a kid was born 6 years ago, that lil child would be in kindy by now. It wasn't even a mistake if you look at it. I bought this pair of boots and I wore it only twice when I was 12 and she blames me till today for buying it.
I hate my life. I envy others who has great moms. They joke and poke fun at their moms while every joke I tell my mom is like an insult to her. She complaints ever single time I ask her to drive me around of fetch me from somewhere including tuition classes. She scolds me through out the whole journey without giving me a break. I have no choice.. She blames me for the things I never do. She said it is my responsibility to help her out with to house chores but when I do it, she doesn't even appreciate it. In fact she scolds me for not doing it well. I've cleaned my room but yet she says it is still messy and it looks like a pig's sty. What ever I do she can only see the bad side of it. Why must I live life to please her?
I don't drink, smoke nor do I do drugs, I don't fight. But yet she claims that I have such bad manners. Don't blame me. I was brought up like that. She talks to me in that tone of voice and expects me to reply nicely? NO WAY!! She chases me out of the house every now and then. WHY SHOULD I GET OUT? IT IS HER RESPONSIBILITY to take care of me. Right?
Everytime I tell her that it is her responsibility to be responsible for her own daughter. She replies me with a cold tone. " you are not my daughter. I dun have to be responsible for you,"
Your mother ever said that to you? I doubt. If you don't want to take responsible of me DON'T GIVE BIRTH TO ME IN THE 1st place!!!She refuse to admit I am her daughter. She tells me not to acknowledge her. She tells me not to talk to her. FINE. Most of the time I end up not talking to her for months. She curses me. Hoping I'll die soon. Hoping I'll be strike by lighting. Hoping I'll go to eternal hell. I can't take it anymore. She nags and nags and nags. Its so annoying. While typing this I can hear her nagging at my poor dad. I think this family is going down the drain. IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF HER.
I want to get out from this house. If I was given a choice, I would rather live under the bridge rather than to live in this demonic house. Life is so miserable here. I get scolding everyday withour fail. The very minute she sees me until I go to bed. If you can stand it. I'm telling you I CAN'T take it anymore. I've been so patient all this while. I'm giving up hope. I wished I could run and run and run whitout looking back.
I'm not seeking sympathy. I am jsut unhappy with my life.
Take me away. Anywhere.
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feel the magical essence...# ;
